Deepti Sharma

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4 Ways Being An Entrepreneur Can Make You A Better Parent

Forbes

My son, Zubin, recently turned one. In the days and months before his arrival I strategized and planned. I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting and, like so many first-time mothers, I became versed in a baby’s ideal routine and mapped out a strategy to achieve it.

But, to my surprise, it was what I’d learned through launching and running my company, FoodtoEat, that best enabled me to get through the challenges of Zubin’s first year. This shouldn’t have been a surprise. After all, parenting and building a business share the same goal: to guide your charge to full potential. Thankfully, they share a skillset as well.

Here are four ways I found that entrepreneurial experience helps to prepare you for motherhood.

  1. Being an entrepreneur means dealing with the unexpected while maintaining your equilibrium.

    It means the ability to deal with setbacks, even failure, without giving up. It means resilience, a quality that is equally important in business and parenting.

    According to Sheryl Sandberg “resilience is a muscle” and many also consider it the most important quality an entrepreneur can have. It’s equally important for new mothers, who soon find out that no matter how they may try to create an ideal routine, real-life will interfere. The baby will cry just as the phone rings and the pressure cooker goes off on the stove, signalling lunch is ready. As a new mother, episodes like this can happen again and again.

    So remember that you are resilient. You’ve already survived numerous challenges at the office and you will survive this chaos as well—the same muscle can help you through both situations. Remain optimistic and don’t stop making decisions. But, importantly, do recognize that muscles get tired. If you find yourself worn down, your resilience fraying, reach out to your partner or a friend and take some time for yourself. This is not failure, it’s necessary self-care.

  2. You can recognize when it’s time to pivot.

    Anyone who has operated successfully in business knows that while plans are mandatory, so is the ability to let them go. No matter how much attention you pay to details, nothing is infallible. Maybe your company begins as a rocket ship or maybe it flounders. No matter, it will take unexpected turns.  Sure, with experience, you become better at planning—but you also learn to pivot when necessary. The same is true with being a new mom.

    For me, this became clear when dealing with breast feeding. I was having problems, but I’m not intimidated by challenge;  I did what I could. In hopes of priming my body to produce enough milk to breastfeed exclusively, I binge-watched five hours of How to Get Away with Murder while attached to a hospital-grade breast pump. Ultimately, it didn’t work. But I’d already learned that there’s always another way to achieve a goal. It was time to pivot.

    The trick is understanding your own limitations, knowing you can’t always work harder--but sometimes you can work better. Ultimately, I took a step back and considered a different approach--as my company  had taught to do along the way. When I decided to go to formula full-time, life got easier. I began to enjoy parenting, relieved of preconceived notions of what I was “supposed” to do.

  3. You understand the importance of a support network.

    You probably didn’t get where you today without the help of others. I know I didn’t. Throughout my education and career, I’ve had many friends and mentors who provided emotional support and helped me in my professional ventures. When necessary, I sought to meet the right people. In my experience, connecting with others is as important to professional well-being as it is to mental health.

    The same kind of foundation is crucial for a new mother. You may have the most supportive partner in the world. (And I hope yours is as wonderful as mine.) You may have the closest friends. But only a mother can truly understand your new challenges. So get active in building a network of mothers to support you. Seek out local support groups. Reconnect with relatives and old friends. Ask your mother.

    As you do in business, avoid unsolicited advice which is usually layered with personal bias, not fact. (For example, online, I rely almost exclusively on the American Academy of Pediatrics website, which provides guidance based on scientific evidence--not personal opinion.) Build a trusted corps of non-judgemental advisors. This is especially important when you’re going through a rough patch. Chances are, they will understand your situation and can give the right advice according to circumstances.

  4. You stop taking things personally.

    In the early days, I hated it when an employee quit. It felt like a judgement against my vision. It hurt! But ultimately it became clear that my frustration was a waste of time; my attitude was working against my success. These days, I focus my reaction on what I need to do to make sure there’s minimal disruption to the team. I no longer take everything to heart.

    Parenting also requires a little levity. Even though the mother–child bond has an intensity like nothing I’ve experienced before, this doesn’t mean Zubin always does as I’d like. He has his own personality; his own ideas. I would like him to eat carrots, for example, and to sleep through the night. At the time of this writing, however, he refuses to share these goals. I can’t force it. Nor will I consider it failure. Nor should you.

    Because motherhood is like that. It demands all your passion and patience. It stretches intellectual and emotional limits and, in doing so, is a tremendous catalyst for growth. Sound familiar? Yes, just like entrepreneurship, motherhood is all-consuming, exhausting—and one of the greatest adventures imaginable.